Guest Post: Kelsey Lyle, The Gambia

In November 2009, I entered a place that would change my life forever. A place that would change my mind about changing people and changing lives.  My husband and I became Peace Corps volunteers with the United States government in the small West Coast African country of The Gambia. In fact, reflecting back on my two years of service, I changed more than I thought I could change, or so I think. I was blessed to be sent to such a challenging, loving country. It is challenging in that poverty, death rates, and temperatures are high. Access to clean water is difficult. With the exception of large cities, there is not electricity. But it is a place that will take you in so much, you just might feel you are drowning. Drowning in love, curiosity and hope for the future. People here have a contagious happiness for family, being together, and taking care of each other. There were days I wanted to close my eyes and be back in America. But I am so glad I stayed.

Being in a small rural village, I had a lot of time to take it all in, to witness and reflect. What does it mean to be a good person? It’s really complicated, because in The Gambia, giving is expected. You give to your family and friends when they need it and you expect the same from them. People lend their items freely. It is hard being an American, to see people’s things getting broken or often hearing about someone losing their radio because the person they lent it to just didn’t bring it back, and they don’t remember who that person is.

One time, my husband borrowed a gardening tool from the school. Our host brother asked to borrow it for digging up a root and it broke. My husband was so upset, I remember him saying, “I am never going to borrow something ever again.” He had to go back the next day and tell the headmaster (principal). Instead of being upset, the headmaster just laughed and said, “We see you are working hard, don’t worry about it.” My husband offered to pay for a new tool but he would not accept the money. He was so relieved and overwhelmed by this man’s kindness. People here get a certain joy out of sharing and lack of attachment to things that is so inspirational.

It’s not always easy; people you know and people you don’t know will ask you for things- money for school fees, money for breakfast. We were told to say no to people as hopes for not developing expectations from villagers. But it was definitely not the cultural norm. As a Peace Corps volunteer, I face that challenge every day.  In all honesty, we don’t have money here. We are expected to live at the local level.  And I have yet to write a grant, send someone to school, or to America. I push for a different type of giving: the giving of knowledge, confidence and empowerment. My husband and I moved closer to the city as he got a leadership job with the Peace Corps office. Now I am teaching a class to girls who were unable to complete their education due to lack of finances or early pregnancy. They are all learning a skill, hairdressing. My counterpart and I co-teach a class every week on Life Skills. Like skills include disease prevention and education, self-esteem, relationship skills, communication skills, etc. We do dramas and journal writing. I love challenging them to think for themselves. And I get the most out of hearing about their life experiences.  

I think often people associate giving with giving money. But there are others ways to give. Not everyone can give up two years of their life to go some where. We all have so many unique skills and a great source of knowledge that some people in the world are just waiting to receive. Volunteering your time as a tutor or reader at a nearby school, working at a soup kitchen, planting trees, or helping build houses for those in poverty with Habitat for Humanity are all things people can do to help at the local level, without spending money. Service does not have to go internationally to make an impact.  There is something I read once by Dorothy Day, “If I pray by making soup and serving soup, I feel I’m praying by doing. If I pray by saying words, I can sometimes feel frustrated.” This really sticks with me, not necessarily in a religious context, but in how important our everyday actions are and the importance of serving others.

The Hour on: Tooting Your Own Horn

To toot or blow one’s own horn means to brag about one’s own accomplishments. We can’t stand tooters. They are annoying, and no matter how great their accomplishments, we have to wonder if they only do something good so they can rub it in our faces. There is something to be said for the anonymous donor, the kindness of strangers, the virtue of the gift given without expectation of recognition or reward.

If tooting is so annoying, why does the Hour ask you to publish your good deeds? Isn’t that tooting your own horn? Why can’t you do something good and keep it as you own little secret, your own warm feeling? Here are a few thoughts:

Whose Horn is Being Tooted?

When we publish our good deeds on the Hour, it only asks for a first name or a city or state, and that information isn’t even required. No one can connect the accomplishment to the person who performed it. So publishing on the Hour is not so much tooting your own horn as it is tooting some anonymous horn, far less annoying and hopefully serving a purpose.

You are Not Alone

The purpose of the Hour is to create a community of people committed to improving things. We share our accomplishments to help each other and to know we are not alone. An idea posted by the Hour may resonate with me, but I might not be sure how to make it work. You share what you did and I read it and know what to do. I report; you read it and know you are not alone.

Inspiration

Finally, we share our accomplishments to inspire each other. When I hear about the greatness of others I want to be great. A family moves into a house and finds thousands of dollars in the garage. Legally the money is theirs, but they do the right thing and give it to the deceased previous owner’s son. A graduate student is busy in his first semester of a PhD program. He’s recently moved and struggles to care for his young family. When he learns he is a match for a patient in need of a bone marrow transplant there is no question—he donates. Two weeks before the end of the semester, when projects and papers are due, he flies to Denver and comes back a little faint and with aching hips. A woman in a store sees a young mother with an upset baby. Mom can’t put her groceries up on the counter without putting baby down. Baby doesn’t want to be put down. The woman without a word puts the young mother’s groceries on the counter. When I hear about how others have made things better, I want to do more and be better. I’m moved to action.

Toot Your Horn

Go ahead, toot an anonymous horn. Hopefully others will too, so you know you’re not alone. Maybe your combined tooting will inspire someone to do something great. Right now, there are three ideas up on the Action page. If you want something to toot about you could do all three in one afternoon. Give something up and take what you would have spent on it and donate it to a local organization that fights poverty. Print out and mail an Hour card with the check. Then you can report on all three of the ideas. The Hour will post your accomplishments and others will read about what you did and know that they are not the only ones trying to make things better. They will be inspired and hopefully, pass the inspiration on.

Take Action!